Check your seat belts, they can make noise if not in place.

 

My Granddaughter manages to some how get out of the car and the ticking starts almost right away. I have to slide the metal part of the belt down and once again quiet. Happened dozens of times.

 

Hi Sanfrandisco...
Do a search under my user name or B-Pillar Rattle in this forum.
I can only suggest that you keep a diary of all the problems, date, time, who you spoke too what they offered and what you wanted.
I had the terrible experience of JLR wanting to tear my car apart as per their TSBs re the B-Pillar Rattle. Ended up getting a reject on the vehicle after an agonizing 8-9 months, they gave am a new car and guess what after 3 weeks the new car developed the same problem and was rejected as well.
I returned the NEW car along with the keys and told them where to put the car and keys (the keys would have fitted but the car wouldn't have).. ended up moving to a Volvo XC60, best thing I vere did.
I had over 200+ pager of data plus an independent engineers report to make my case against JLR. They issued at least 8 Technical Service Bulletins on how they were going to fix the worldwide problem - none of them worked!

I still have all the info stored somewhere. Good luck and I really hope it's NOT the B-Pillar Rattle as defined by the JLR TSBs.

 

You haven't told us the age of the car. If it's new or recent, it won't have the traditional B-pillar rattle from the earlier models. I did have an annoying rattle from the B pillar on my MY 19 Evoque. I found that I could cure it by wedging a slice of credit card under the rubber seal, between door and plastic trim. A firm push on the seat belt mounting also helped. Took it back to the dealer who replaced the plastic trim and it's been Ok since.

 

Thanks for all the advice.
Tried the seatbelts (noise audible with passengers seated) even with them fastened noise still there.
The vehicle is Dec 21 so latest version.
My current experiment is that the rear door pocket normally is filled with water bottles so trying the bins empty….

 

Plastic bottles in side a plastic bin,, would be an excellent place to look

 

My Jan22 P300 had a rattle from what sounded like the bottom of the near side rear door. Only appeared at about 50mph+.

Had a look under the sill and found the flimsy over exhaust heat shield in the air flow - applied small bulldog clip, rattle cured!

Might be worth a look?

 

So bottles were a red herring.
But Cole Burner has it spot on…
I noticed earlier today that when I shut the rear passenger door I could hear a ‘tinny clang’ from below… and yes it is the exhaust heat shield. It’s in for first service in June so will get it nailed back on 👍🏻

 

Interesting. I’ve heard a similar noise when closing the rear passenger door on mine, put it down to the packets of wet wipes which live in that door pocket. I’ve not noticed anything really during driving though.

 

i had the dreaded rattle between the passenger seat and boot space today and it was annoying the hell out of me, after a bit of stopping and pressing things it turned out to be the n/s rear passenger seat belt rattling against the hard plastic trim by the door. at least i havn't heard it since.. so far.